Alfred D. Sebastian
Date of Passing: October 18th, 2021leave a condolence read condolences
The world has lost a great man but heaven couldn't wait to see him. 'Freddie' Sebastian, 81, one of the kindest and most beloved men in the City of Utica passed over to the care of the Lord on October 18, 2021 from heart failure and Covid-19 complications.
Freddie was born in Hamden, CT in 1940 without a mean bone in his body. He had the energy of 5 boys and the work ethic of 10! His grandmother, 'Nonnie' used to say "that boy is full of beans!", 80 years later Freddie still had the 'get up and go' of a 12 year old, always with a smile, always eager to help, and always improving how people felt about their day.
Freddie worked beside his father in the civil engineering industry until he was in his early 30's. He saw the repairs of Niagara Falls and was there for the rebuilding of Nicaragua after the great earthquake.
Freddie moved to Utica with his sister's family in 1977 and began working with various organizations on different events intended to serve the needs of others. He was a regular volunteer at church festivals and sang in many church choirs throughout the city.
He was a veteran cast member of the annual production of 'Scrooge' at the Stanley Theater where he entertained audiences for over 20 years. He ran in the Boiler-Maker every year he was able and always helped out in charity events.
Freddie was a long-term member, resident and ambassador of The ARC Oneida-Lewis, a leader in services of people with development disabilities.
"He's done more for us than we could ever do for him". Those are the words we have heard repeated over and over again from institutions, individuals, family and friends who have been blessed to experience Freddie's kindness, caring and unbridled optimism.
Freddie was in the excellent care of the doctors, nurses and staff at St. Elizabeth Medical Center who helped him, pampered him and laughed with him during his final days and held his hand in his final hours.
Freddie is survived by his loving sister and life-long advocate, Patty Sebastian Boley; his nieces and nephews and their entire extended family; and hundreds of grateful friends and loved ones whose lives he touched.
Funeral services will be Saturday, October 23, 2021 at 11 am at the Mark C. Bentz Funeral Service, Inc., 13 Oxford Road, New Hartford, with Father Joseph Salerno officiating. A calling hour will be held from 10-11 am prior to the service. Interment will be in Calvary Cemetery.
Donations can be made to The Arc Oneida-Lewis Chapter, thearcolc.org or Mother of Our Savior Parish, Lourdes Campus, Utica NY.
Freddie likely knew me from the day of my birth since he was a few years older than me (his sister Patty is my Godmother). With the clarity of hindsight and having met so many people in my lifetime, I can confidently say that he was the kindest, sweetest, most loving and caring soul I've ever met. He never forgot anyone's name, he remembered our last conversation, even though it may have been more than a year(s) before. He treated me like a brother even though we were cousins. His face lit up when he walked into a room full of people he knew. If he didn't know you, he got to work getting to know you. When he saw me, he treated me as though I was the only person there that mattered. That wasn't unique to me as he treated everyone that way. Even though we hadn't seen each other in many years, I can most vividly remember his smile, his laugh, his greeting, his handshake - oh my, he really gripped your hand like he was never going to let go as he had a way of making you feel safe with him looking after you. It's a cliche to say that the world will miss him as of course they will, but it's not a cliche to say that Freddie will miss the world. He loved the world and all the people in it. Quoting Dr. Suess..his heart grew three sizes that day.. Freddie's heart was Always three sizes bigger. If only the world was full of Freddie's, everything would be roses.
Our family, BK, Teo, Via, and myself, will miss Freddie terribly. He was literally the nicest and friendliest person we have ever known and a model citizen. Several memories came rushing up at his passing that capture the person he was, and I'd like to share them.
The first was a time when we were at a cemetery outside NYC after a funeral for one of the old guard Italian relatives. Freddie of course remembered everyone's names, who was married to who, and he was like a walking family tree, giving me a lesson on that entire side of the family. It was a somber affair and Freddie was very sad. As we walked away, BK casually asked him what he'd like his tombstone to say, and on a dime, Freddie's face broke into a huge grin and he said, "Freddie the Pizza King"!!! I can't remember if he was working at a pizza place at the time or was just channeling the Italians, but either way, his instant joy was so infectious!
The second memory was when we were visiting Utica and Patti told us we should go to a parade downtown because Freddie would be marching in it (with ARC we thought). When we got there, he was literally at the front, leading the parade with a baton and his best suit on as if he were the Mayor. Everyone knew him and it was amazing to watch him work the crowd. What a phenomenal town. Thank you, ARC and Utica for embracing him the way you did.
Freddie, you will be missed. We loved you so much. - Tammy
Freddie Boley ,
All the Wards, Weiners, just loved you soooo much. Jennifer, Drew, Meredith, Sam and all the children. Richard Abend especially.
The love bestowed on you by sister Patti and husband Bill, and all their children was just the Best. Freddie you have left a great gift to all of us. A Special Man.
Joan D Abend and Family
Everyone at The Arc, Oneida-Lewis, is going to miss Fred Sebastian. He did so much for the agency through volunteering and advocacy, opening doors for others as a pioneer in less accepting times. Fred was our statesman, always making new friends and doing whatever he could in the community. He had it all, charm, talent, work ethic, and genuine concern for his fellow man. We'll forever miss Fred's smile, whether shining on stage in the annual Players of Utica production of Scrooge at The Stanley Theatre or in our Arc StageWorks program, Fred loved to put on a show. Beyond that, he was a man of pride with who you could sit down to have a cup of coffee and talk about life. He loved having his picture taken and showing you pictures while regaling tales from his life. We'll forever miss Freddie and send our thoughts and prayers to his Sister and family. Please rest in peace, dear friend, for this isn't goodbye, rather so long for now - your Arc, Oneida-Lewis family.
The Arc, Oneida-Lewis Chapter